Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Wednesday Mailbag, by Christopher

Dear Mr. Mahoganyboard,

My name is Edith and I read Sarah and Chris's blog. I liked reading your movie review a few weeks ago. I hope I get to read another one soon! I just watched Iron Man last weekend with my nephew and his friend and I thought of you. Did you see it and what did you think?

Yours Truly,

Edith


Edith,

My second wife's name was Edith and I think you two would have really had a lot in common and maybe even been great friends. But she fell off the St. Ronald's Island ferry and died.

It's an awfully strange coincidence but my wife and I watched The Iron Man last weekend too. When Chris carbon copied (that's what the cc stands for) your email over to me I was sitting in my chair in the community center writing a review of The Iron Man on my laptop! 

Thank you for sending the question to Chris and Sarah. I know those kids like it when they get e-mail and it makes me wish sometimes that I would have stayed in closer contact with my old friends from back in the States. But most of them are dead now and Jeopardy's coming on, so I'll close.

Sincerely,
W.K. Mahoganyboard, Film Critic for the Olive Hills Retirement Community Newsletter

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The Iron Man
a critical review by W. Mahoganyboard

Sansha gets her hopes up for movies and then she's so disappointed when they don't have the stuff in them she wanted. 

Like with The Iron Man, she saw the box in the store and was sure it was about the Bible and that the guy with the beard was Moses. 

I asked her,"What about the robot on the cover, is he from the Bible?" But she didn't hear me. And when there wasn't any Bible in the movie and the credits rolled, she was just so disappointed. She gets an idea in her head and it doesn't matter where it came from, she sets her mind to it. 

But through the whole film she was tapping me on the shoulder and saying "the Bible part is next." And then the robot or the junkie from the news would galavant around some more and she'd leave me alone for a minute.

So I didn't get a good idea of what the hell was going on in The Iron Man. 

I know that there was a pretty lady who was in a bunch of scenes with the junkie. I don't know her name, but she reminded me of a young miss Kim Novak, who captured my heart in the summer of 1955 film 'Picnic.' 

I think this young lady in the movie will be popular in other movies. Not just cause of her looks, too. You remember I told you that she'll be real famous someday.

As for the robots and the specialized effects, I didn't think much of it. One robot flies around a lot and shoots another robot, then it gets shot by the other robot, and then Sansha told me the robots were Cain and Abel and that "the Bible part is next."      

I think the part where the junkie broke all the glass was unrealistic because glass just doesn't break like that. And the part where the robot got ice on it and almost crashed, ice doesn't work like that. And the talking house and the hole in the junkie's chest and the way Moses died at the end, those parts were unrealistic, too.

I give The Iron Man an 'alright I guess.' I think more of the Kim Novak lady with the robots would have been better. And I think the picture on the box is misleading, because there's no Bible parts in the movie at all. And that really upset Sansha and I'll bet a lot of other people too.

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