Monday, November 30, 2009

Baby Bombs

I'm back-dating this post.

It's my blog so I can do that.

I wanted to talk a bit about Thanksgiving, but from the point of view of my camera lens.

I realized this Thanksgiving that we now have a series of pictures of Chris being baby bombed.

I love it when Chris gets baby bombed.

It has to be a sneak assault.

He won't volunteer or agree to hold any child.

You really have to give him no other option.

There was the New Years Day raid of 2009.

Jenica took the wine out of his hand and replaced it with Baby H.

The result was as follows:


That assault was followed promptly with Baby A.

Me thinks Chris is nonplussed.

That takes us to Thanksgiving day.

Chris's cousin basically dropped Baby R right in his lap giving him no choice but to catch her.

It's like watching someone give a 5 year old a map to hold.

They're not quite sure which end is up, what the purpose is or what to do with it.

It makes me laugh.

And I think it makes Chris laugh too.

Because eventually, he figures out what to do.

And the babies love it.

And I kind of think Chris does as well.

When we had the Moss's over for dinner, Chris introduced Baby A to drums. I'm pretty sure that made her day.

The drums have been quite a hit with the short bunch.

Kiddo B and Baby B loved them as well.

They'll probably be a big hit for years to come.

Chris really doesn't give himself enough credit.

He's quite good when caught off-guard with baby bombs.

Maybe someday he'll even volunteer to hold one.


Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Dallas Turkey Trot

Thanksgiving morning we woke up at 6:30 and set off to the DART rail. Upon arriving, we discussed the day ahead.

I've never run this race before and I was surprised to discover that the train was full to overflowing. Sarah and I had to stand on one foot all the way to the race.

Upon arrival, I was even more surprised to discover that 37,00 of our neighbors had shown up to trot with us. Some of them came in costume and others expressed themselves in dance.

Here's a panoramic video to give you an idea of what 37,000 people looks like when they are all packed together and freezing. Also, the national anthem was in full effect.

The "official start" of the race was a bit anticlimactic, since a mob this size doesn't really jump into action at the toot of an airhorn.

Once we got under way I took some shaky video of the perilous run itself. I did eventually see a middle school-aged girl run directly into a parking meter and crash to the ground more embarrassed than hurt. It was a jungle out there.

The truth is, Sarah made it the whole way without stopping or slowing down. She crossed the finish line in about 34 minutes. I, however, had to stop and catch my breath for a bit. I still managed to finish in about 37 minutes.

Right before I crossed the finish line we met up again. Crossing the finish line was a great feeling of accomplishment. And I was only a little embarrassed that my wife smoked me.

We're talking about doing the Jingle Bell run on December 22nd now that we've got our first 5k under our belts. It was a fun way to kick off Thanksgiving that I'm sure will become a tradition for us.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Really? At Blockbuster?! - by Christopher

I have discovered the most desperate man in America. Aaron Siebers, just some schmo from Denver, performed what has to be one of the most illogical, poorly thought out and desperate attempts at getting out of work ever conceived.

The full article at The Smoking Gun lays out the pathetic details; the ripped pants, the implicit racism against imaginary hispanics, the sad, sad life of one very deficient individual.

I'm left with only one pressing question at the end of this moronic tale: aren't there any Subway restaurants in Denver? Or FedEx Kinkos shops? Or fricking Wal-Marts?

Could any job in the entire Blockbuster corporate hierarchy all the way up to the CEO of the company (let alone the job as a peon at a check-out counter) warrant STABBING YOURSELF IN THE LEG???

Have you walked into a Blockbuster in the last ten years? Not to overly disparage what the fine folks are doing over there, but I think the only real qualification for employment is a proven history of sniffing paint. Or a tolerance for being surrounded by screens of endlessly looping dreck? Or are those two qualifications really the same qualification? I'm aware that ex-convicts have to work someplace- but Blockbuster? The company that's been going out of business in gruesome slow motion for nearly a decade on the strength of it's "customer service?"

I mean, we know there's a Target retail store in town (with fully functional security cameras). Are you telling me this guy didn't stop for half a second during his walk past Target while he contemplated EVISCERATING HIS FLESH to get out of a shift and think, "You know, I'll just bet I could walk into this big red store over here and get a job performing comparable tasks for comparable benefits." No?

Then Aaron Siebers, you are the most desperate man in America. There's nothing that I or anyone else can do for you. You are well and truly on your own in life; all the education and well-intentioned wisdom in the world will never make a dent in your perfect halo of idiocy. I'm sorry and thank you. I never would have believed this could have been possible.

Not even any drugs involved? Nothing? Just, this guy one day decides that to keep his entry-level job as a scratched dvd shelver he must badly immolate himself, your saying. And set into motion a city-wide manhunt for imaginary assailants, your saying. AND the job is at Blockbuster?!?

I'm just- my mind is blown. I'm doing my best to peel myself off the ceiling on this one.

Monday, November 2, 2009


I woke up this morning and realized with surprise that it’s already November.

An unreal amount of time has rushed past since we touched down on our native soil. Sarah has been the only member of our duo to update the blog with any regularity. So here follows an update on me in a handy listed format:

1. I’ve been working as a techie for a local college since July. However, it’s only part-time. I spend another 8 hours each week in class to prepare for the Cisco CCNA certification. I’m planning to take the test in mid-December. I’m hoping to be employed as a network engineer by Februaryish.

2. I have started a little home business of converting analog VHS home movies to eternally-preserved digital formats. It’s fun work and it’s nice to feel like I’m creating permanent family heirlooms for people. Some great-great-grandkids are going to be very entertained by what their direct ancestors once wore in public.

3. I’m playing fantasy football for the first time. It is way more fun than I thought it would be. Even on the weeks I get stomped (which is often).

4. On the days I get to see Sarah, I like to be with her doing whatever we think sounds fun. For Halloween we went to dinner and a free production of Much Ado About Nothing. It wasn’t an appropriate way to spend Halloween at all, and for some reason I enjoyed that.

5. I’m slowly writing a book. I started it in earnest on the Greek isle of Rhodes several months ago. The only thing I know for sure at this point is that it’s intended purposes will be twofold: to elicit laughter and puzzlement. I’m positive that the puzzlement part will succeed.

6. I’m slowly creating comics. These are mostly just for me to show to Sarah and to enjoy watching her reaction. I’m a long way from feeling ready to launch these into the world. With each new one I create I think, “This has definitely not ever been created before.” This is to say that most of them are some flavor of bizarre.

7. I am producing nothing musical at all right now beyond my very occasional assault on my electronic drumkit. I did tune my electric guitar yesterday. I sort of forgot how to do it properly.

8. I have no aspirations toward theater at the moment, since I couldn’t possibly imagine how a typical three-night-per-week rehearsal schedule would fit. But when the time is ripe I will strike again.

9. I’ve been training to run the Dallas Turkey Trot 5K. It will be the first time I have run a 5K. I am nervous and excited and fairly sure that Sarah is much better prepared for it than I am.

10. I think there’s been some talk of having a baby.

I know I’m forgetting several things. When I remember the things I’m forgetting I’ll tack them on here or in another post. And I hope all is very well with the few of you who might still pay this space any heed.

‘Heed’ is both a funny looking and funny sounding word. Unlike ‘Pizza,’ which is a funny looking but normal sounding word.

Or ‘Boot’ which is a normal looking word that sounds funny. As in, “Hey Carl, that’s a really interesting boot you’re wearing today.” There’s nothing funny about reading that sentence. But if I called you and told you that sentence you would laugh.

But maybe you aren’t named Carl and don’t wear boots and that’s why you would be laughing. And if that’s the case, you just totally screwed up the end of this post.