Thursday, January 31, 2008

Jack and the Witch

For Christmas, Chris wanted a DVD of a Japanese anime that he saw while on a family vacation back in 1986.

The movie got cut short when Chris's folks were ready to leave for dinner, thus Chris never got to see the end.

All he knew was that "The Witch" ended up being an evil robot and she had captured some boy named Jack. He's always wondered how the movie ended, so being the great fiancee that I am, I resolved to give him his wish.

I started in November and hunted for weeks for this thing.

Finally, I found the movie, Jack and the Witch. I went against all of Oprah's identity theft advice and gave my phone number to "John" in Idaho who promised to send me the film after the ice storm they were having.


But sure enough, it showed up on my doorstep one week later.

We finally watched it last weekend.

I have never laughed so hard at a cartoon in all my life.

At times I was completely lost and wanted to escape to the bedroom and read a book, but I hung in there.

At the end Chris looked at me and said "Yeah, I don't think that was the right movie."


I would have felt like a complete failure except that after the credits finished rolling Chris and I's attention was brought back to the screen where some kind of extra Japanese film began playing.

The quality is so-so because I got my TV in 1997.

And yes, the Christmas tree has since been taken down.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

State of the Union

Last night President George gave his State of the Union address.

I watched it for seven minutes before I had to take four Tums.

I don't trust most of what George-e says and I have no real way to find out what he's lying about and what he's lying about more.

I only know my own state of union so I decided to focus on that instead.

Chris discovered my first grey hair about two months ago.

He has since found two more.

My skin is about as white as a ghost in a snow storm. I need a tan.

This Saturday I remembered I hadn't dusted the top of my bedroom fan in like 1.5 years. Thanks to my tall fiancé it is now clean.

I think I noticed a new freckle on my left shoulder.

I can run five minutes in row which is up quite a bit since one minute in 2007.

I and my finance committee (aka DAD) have allotted a significant amount of funds to be spent on pretty flowers, tasty food and stunning ribbon-less invitations for the 2008 fiscal year.

I think it's probably time to clip my toenails again.

State of education is first-class. This last year I read 23 books, 21 magazines, 7 newspapers, 3 love letters and 1 police report.

Department of trade is in good shape. I have already exchanged 5 gifts this year and only anticipate growth in gift trafficking.

Department of transportation is good now that I have my car back. And I think my total different means of transport in 2007 totalled 41. Train, plane, sailboat, hospital bed,...

My state is the only state that I am fully attentive to so it is up to you my friends to ensure your own state is the state you want yourself in.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Friday, January 25, 2008

Teacher of the Year

Well, it's official!

The assignment for the second graders in my class yesterday was to write about a snow day.

I couldn't wait to read the papers since we have spent the better part of five months learning correct punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc...It's always fun to see your hard work pay off.

First paper I go to grade was the following, filling an entire sheet of wide-ruled notebook paper:

This Day on tomorow we are Like
doing drinking Hot cocoa and then we Like so the
dogs and then
i so show so
i said mom can i
go out side said no. Then i
went the i take a Part of ice the i
was place.

I went to my assistant principal immediately to ask for a raise.

Apparently as a teacher, i is the goodest.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Take Me Away

We take trips.

We take pictures.

We take our time getting our trip pictures to you.

Take a break from Name That Church and enjoy a good look at Portland in October.

I mean Vancouver.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Guess That Church

Chris and I went to church this morning.

That's right, church.

Only this church has no crosses in it, no mention of sin, and free tea.

I tried convincing Chris that the tea was not really "free"..."you're suppose to make a donation." He argued that his presence was his donation.

As I was formulating my rebuttal to his oh-so altruistic argument, a woman came to sit with us and introduced herself as Sharon. She asked us where we were from and how we found the church.

We explained that Chris was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist and now that we're getting married we're looking for a church we both enjoy.

She informed us that she too had been raised Methodist and that the minister had been raised Catholic. She said that she had always known she wasn't a Methodist though. She went on to tell us how she was kicked out of her 3rd grade Sunday school class for laughing out loud about the part where Jesus walks on water.

I could relate to her story. I have a hard time with the "miracle" (that's right, I used quotation marks) parts of the Bible.

I was about to ask her more questions when a man with a mallet came out to the coffee area and struck a big circular plate which appeared to be a gong. It resonated its gong sound throughout the lobby and summoned everyone to enter the sanctuary.

I went to put down my "free" coffee and Chris's "free" tea when no-more Methodist Sharon told us to just bring it right in with us.

Sure enough, inside people had everything from mugs, to Starbucks cups to knitting materials.

We started by singing an African-American "easy swing" slave song. The whole ceremony was centered around MLK since his big day is tomorrow.

There was no southern-Baptist style clapping. Just singing.

When it was time to light the candle and start the service one man in the back clapped.

There was a bilingual doxology, the minister played the harmonica during the children's hour, and a sixty year old hippie joined the minister for the sermon.

The hippie brought his jacket with buttons such as "Evict Nixon", and one with a guitar, a hand grenade and a smoke pipe that read "Togetherness."

After the ceremony, the Catholic-no-more minister welcomed us and answered some of our questions.

Now, before you go thinking this is way too left and everything you own should go in a box to the left, to the are the church's seven principles (in child-centered language):

1. We believe that each person is important

2. We believe that all people should be treated fairly and kindly

3. We believe that we should accept one another and keep on learning together.

4. We believe that each person should be free to search for what is true and right in life.

5. We believe that everyone should have a vote about things that concern them.

6. We believe in working for a peaceful, fair and free world.

7. We believe in caring for our planet earth, the home we share with all living things.

I haven't told you what church this is because I want you to leave all your prejudices and preconceived stereotypes at the door.

Reflect for a day or so on those seven principles and how you would feel about belonging to a church like this.

I'm going to do the same and in a few days I'll let you know where we might now be getting our free tea and coffee on Sunday mornings.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Chris and I have gone from running 3 out of 30 minutes to 9 out of 30 minutes.
There's nothing witty or incredibly thoughtful about this statement.
But I'm trying to keep the blog bar low.
Some days are just going to be simple statements of success.

Monday, January 14, 2008

You've Got Mail!

The first time Chris and I went to look at wedding invitations we had our biggest argument to date.

The second time, we went into the store, looked through eight binders of invites, narrowed it down to one, illegally took a picture of it with Chris' cell phone and were out of the store in thirty minutes.

Thank God for pharmaceuticals.

I mean really, I ask you, when was the last time you looked at a wedding invite and said to yourself "Oh, what a nice thermo-typography-embossed, bold-faced, Italian style eight point font they selected! Nice choice."

Or..."Wow, if it weren't for that ribbon laced through the top, this invite would really suck."

No one cares!

Least of all us.

I think the amount of time you spend choosing the invite should be directly proportionate to the amount of time the invitee will spend looking at it.

Assuming you're like us and you put the invite on your fridge and it stays there 2 months, we're looking at a total viewing time of about thirty minutes.

In fact, that's the new wedding planning rule.

Time of research and investigation on all wedding choices will be directly equivalent to the amount of time the object or vendor will be looked at or used.

But if that were the case I should have spent 5 minutes choosing the bridesmaids bouquets and 5 years choosing the electric griddle.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Weight of Waiting

Have you ever thought about the price you pay every day just to wait for things?

Everyday we must take on a lot of stressful weight.

For the purpose of this exercise 1 min of waiting is equal to 1 lb. of mental stress.

Let's calculate how much mental stress I accumulated today.

Four red lights on the way to work = 4 min. of waiting = 4 lbs. of mental stress

Waiting on late authors to arrive at school for their book presentation = 15 min. = 15 lbs. stress

Teacher late to take kids to recess = 6 min. = 12 lbs. mental stress (antsy kids count for double the stress)

Microwave bag of popcorn = 4 min. = 0 lbs. mental stress (popcorn is good)

Five red lights on the way to the Doctor's office = 5 minutes of waiting = 5lbs. of annoyance

Sitting in the doctor's office = 120 MINUTES OF WAITING = 120 lbs. of pissed off annoyed fed-up stress

Drive-through at CVS pharmacy = 12 min. wait = 12 more lbs. of unneeded hassle stress

Chicken order at Gazeebo Burger = 6 min. = 6 lbs. of stress (that's $1 a pound)

So, let's see...that's 175 extra pounds of superfluous stress in just one day.

That's a lot of weight from waiting.

Imagine what happens in a week.

I feel weak.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Resolute Second Graders

Ms. Mathis's Class Resolutions.
In 2008 I will ride a horse. - Sebastian
In 2008 I will draw Mickey Mouse. - Jenny
In 2008 I will work in space. - Jose
In 2008 I will touch a fish. - Alex
In 2008 I will make cars that fly a lot. - Jesus
In 2008 I will learn to drive a bike all the way to the Kroger. - Daniela
I wonder what my resolutions were 21 years ago. 
And I wonder if I achieved them.
I'd like to think I did.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Back to the Schoolhouse

Three reasons I didn't mind going back to work today.

1. Daisy's Christmas Journal
December 22, 2007: "Today I went outside to watch my mom wreck the leaves."

2. Roberto left to his own devices

3. Sebastian left to his own devices

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

January 2, 2028

That is the day that today will be funny.

Today was not a good day, but I'm sure in twenty years it will fall in the "look back and laugh at" category.
Maybe sooner.

I can't explain the details right now because I feel it is only right to respect the privacy of all involved parties.

But I can tell you this...

there was a random bank, an invisible stationary store and a banana involved.

It only took us ten years to laugh about me running my dad's brand new Mustang into the side of the garage.
About six years to laugh about the Dean of TCU calling my parents.
And about 20 minutes to laugh when Emily and I fell through the trampoline while jumping on it.
So, all in good time, things move from ugly to laughable.

That's a good thing to remember.

Remind me in ten years to tell the story and see if we're laughing yet.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2008, Ain't It Great?

Happy 2008 to one and to many.

This year I broke tradition and actually made some resolutions.

The first resolution Chris and I kind of made together; we're going to train to run a 5K in March. I know a 5K sounds short to some of you fit folk, but I assure you, it is plenty for us.
We started today with a 27 min. walk/3 min. jog.
We were both winded at the end.

We noticed the park full of other resoluters, eager to get their run on. Never have I seen so many couples and families and kids all out on the jogging path.
Chris says most of the families were there to find a good place in the forest to leave their kids. Not an entirely insane idea as the holidays can really take a toll on people, especially people with potatoes.

I've also resolved to write more on the blog.
The computer police at the LISD need to lower their security on Internet connectivity from the classroom. I can't blog from school. I therefore am forced to teach which therefore makes me tired when I get home.
But I've had 3 complaints about the lack of blogging so for you Mom and Dad and Chris, this is for you.
I hope others are reading, but I've resolved to write like no one is.

My last resolution is to leave up the Christmas tree.
That's right. I like it, and it's staying up.

No witty ending to this blog.
We're going to start with the bar low and see where the year takes us.

Happy everything to you to yours and to theirs.