Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Wednesday Mailbag

Dear Santa,

Instead of a wish list, we have a question for you.

What are young adults with no children supposed to do for Christmas?

It's easy if you have kids because you just go out and buy whatever the new Chinese crap is that year.

But as childless adults we're unsure how to commemorate the occasion.

Please advise.

Chris and Sarah

Dear Chris and Sarah,

Ho, ho, ho.

Now that that's out of the way, I need to skip straight to your question since I'm swamped right now. 

I have observed over the centuries a multitudinous panolpy of childless adult Christmas pastimes.  

Animal sacrifice was big during the Roman's day.

Crusades were popular during the dark ages, invading your neighbor and what not.

Christmas in the New World was more about survival than celebration.

And in the modern era I've found that celebration can be neatly divided into two categories:

1.  Martha Stewart

2.  Everyone else

Judging by the tone of your question I'm going to guess you're not Martha Stewart.

And in that case I can make a fairly obvious recommendation.  Go be with the people you love.  Knock back a few cocktails.  And keep the conversation light.  Maybe invent a wacky tradition of buying and passing inedible foodstuffs.  That's about the best you can hope for.

Warm Regards,

Santa Claus

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