Tuesday, January 29, 2008

State of the Union

Last night President George gave his State of the Union address.

I watched it for seven minutes before I had to take four Tums.

I don't trust most of what George-e says and I have no real way to find out what he's lying about and what he's lying about more.

I only know my own state of union so I decided to focus on that instead.

Chris discovered my first grey hair about two months ago.

He has since found two more.

My skin is about as white as a ghost in a snow storm. I need a tan.

This Saturday I remembered I hadn't dusted the top of my bedroom fan in like 1.5 years. Thanks to my tall fiancé it is now clean.

I think I noticed a new freckle on my left shoulder.

I can run five minutes in row which is up quite a bit since one minute in 2007.

I and my finance committee (aka DAD) have allotted a significant amount of funds to be spent on pretty flowers, tasty food and stunning ribbon-less invitations for the 2008 fiscal year.

I think it's probably time to clip my toenails again.

State of education is first-class. This last year I read 23 books, 21 magazines, 7 newspapers, 3 love letters and 1 police report.

Department of trade is in good shape. I have already exchanged 5 gifts this year and only anticipate growth in gift trafficking.

Department of transportation is good now that I have my car back. And I think my total different means of transport in 2007 totalled 41. Train, plane, sailboat, hospital bed,...

My state is the only state that I am fully attentive to so it is up to you my friends to ensure your own state is the state you want yourself in.

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