Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Bachelorette Re-Vamped

Dear Producers of ABC's "The Bachelor" & "The Bachelorette",

Last Monday my friends and I watched the finale of The Bachelorette. A show where in 6 weeks, two total strangers get to know each other and then decide to get engaged.

This is inarguably the worst way to choose a spouse.

Why not have the men and women agree to a one-year contract in which they go on real dates, and only have a rose ceremony once every month?
You can still start with 25 men and one woman (or vice versa), but the men have a full month to prove their interest, rather than one night.
There will be no million dollar date budgets. Whatever the guy or girls got, that's what they use to plan the date.
And there are no make-up artists or clothing designers.

Jane and Bob can date long enough to have conversations about religion or what faith their children will be taught. Jane can find out that Bob is really a Swahili war prince who believes flying dolphins will one day escort him to McWombatland.
Mary can discover that Tom loves snowboarding so much he someday wants to use their retirement money to build a mountain of snow for the people of Hawaii.

After a year of dating, the field will be narrowed to two, and the second year could begin: The Bachelorette: Engagement Exploration.

Would people still be watching after a year?
My friends and I were pissed we wasted just 6 weeks watching this last time.

Would there be anything to make fun of? Would we have any way to feel smarter about ourselves and our good decisions?

So look, as long as you're going to make the show as un-real as possible, we're going to continue to feel superior about the way our real lives have turned out.


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